iq test n sleepin

Find your own pose!

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

i have officially become stupid, annoyed, pissed,tired.
dun come near me.
i'll scratch.

PROM!

so hey! ystdy was Shree's prom day!

i so din expect it to be soooo grand. the best Party i haf EVA been to. i thought i was so bloody over-dressed but the mmt i stepped in there, i knew i was under -dressed. i wore a tube dress with a new hair-cut, pedicure, manicure n wat not excuses to pamper myself in the name of PROM. all at the expense of a very loved one.

talking abt dresses, its a Prom tradition for gals to go up and slap another gal if she is wearing the same dress as me.i shd haf slapped another two ystdy! bloody hell there were FOUR varieties of the same dress in TANGS n all three of us bought the same one. Luckily it was bloody crowded. well i guess in JC, a more matured period, no one really cares that much. but of cos it helps to be the misfit in the i-wanna-club-n-slp-ard culture that i went duly unnoticed, happily.

here are a few photos i took courtesy of my K 700i. so it aint that very clear and i am nvr known to be photogenic. so pls keep ur ' aiyeh so fat adi ah jayshree' n 'awww big cheeks man'.

Shree is sensitive. keke tts ramona at the back btw. gosh she speaks so little.i first thought she looked like a chinese heroine sitting by the window, looking out for her lost lover. sheesh.

this is how the table was set.

The ACJC notebook n LOVELY food. yummy! Thats a napkin n the third photo is an ice sculpture of the Eiffel tower, our theme for the day.

LE RAISON D'ETRE. the reason for living.

this is me! in the toilet kekeke.
Seah jing and me! the photo aint taht very clear but still its ok. she helluva hot.
Hussein!! our tennis champ! well u always remind me of how we stamped on RJC's victory for tennis this yr! i like how we spoke on our last day together for the first time after two yrs. :p
Another old fren. Chestine. sweet.
Ashish. Funny guy.
My classmates performing. Middle one is Josia. he calls me cockroach n i call him baygon. he's bloody nice n annoying haha. damn i forgot a personal photo with him!Extreme right is Joshua. both can sing like WOA.
This is mathan. friendly guy.
Rekha. my first ever fren in ACJC. but i am glad we aren't as close now.
Geraldine! i really like this pic. i think i look pretty. hehehe
This guy has a character no one i know has. super appreciative n bloody sweet and respectful.i reali like this photo too, my personal favourite. if i eva haf a son, i wish he turns out like JOSHUA!! he was nice enuff to say tat i had gd taste since others were wearing the same dress as me. haha
This is Darrell. haha
Alaric, our class Frenchie. kekeke. Handsome eh.
HAN LOONG! we sure miss u too in 2AD4. huggies.
Jonathan Chen. annoying as u can be, u are still very nice.
Darius. my bitch fren and teddy bear. so cute la u.we look nice eh.

That's Chyi Lyn in the middle and Geraldine at the left side. i feel kinda crapped beside them. so pretty right! Geraldin i am gonna miss u babe. have fun in Melbourne.

Krystle on the extreme right. bloody hot i tell u. a fren u cant get anywhere else.
Debbie beside her. studious.Chyi Lyn and Ger.

if there was one person who was not there n i missed so much was realli Xian Wei. She and i go a long way. i shared too much with u to ever forget babe. love u very much. and not forgetting Joy.(cant upload her pic) a lost fren. nvrtheless i still treasure u lots.and johnson the smarties and Kelvin the vulgarity King and jester.

hahaha wats school without u guys? this is 2DA4 ppl. God bless them all. else i wld NOT haf survived in ACJC without these devils. damn i'll miss u guys. tears, joy, sweat, pain and revelations that i haf undergone in AC make me realise my stand in life today. i hate to say more. i'll keep it within me and u'll see it all working its way thru my life.

as much as i wanted it and now loathe it,

the chapter of ACJC ends here.

THE BEST IS YET TO BE.

backstabbed

KNNCCB.

ur death is at my hands.

dun try.

hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.

watch me do it ur way then.

watch me.

watch me.

this seething anger will not subside till i have tasted ur blood.

thaipusam

so well i went for matilda's bday bash n met my cuz there, Kenneth. he jus came back from Perth. n as i was eagerly chatting up with him, he told me smth tat rocked me off my seat.
well u see he was in perth, explaining to his Aussie frens abt thaipusam. n yeah he was at youtube, to prove whatever he was talking abt, den he came across this clip, abt a young gal getting pierced, looking closer he realised it was me!! n so yes after nine months, the revelation came. n i dont know who the culprit is.




so well, jus case u were wondering what is happening in that clip. u see i was in thaipusam. in penang. i din like it there. call me n i will tell u WHY. yes i loathed it. nevertheless, i had to fulfill what i offered n promised.

so usually this uncle of mine does my piercings (since primary three) n ,NO it isnt painful if u fast properly. this yr my dad did it. n piercing the tongue isn't exactly tat easy.N . my dad = inexperienced.

well we had a hard time getting it thru till a pusari did it for me in less than 5 secs. now the reason y i obviously felt faint was cos... as u can see so many of them were crowding ard me, n i cun breathe! trust me, when u wanna pray hard n good, dun stay close, n c'mon dude! it was my last piercing that day.

though i am so pist with this unknown guy who posted this, thanks for capturing the moment. i relish every sec of my prayer.

n btw Priya thought tat i was in a trance when i wagged a finger at my dad. i dunno seriously. i was not aware of my actions.

so yes.
adioz

poem on colours

hey long since i blogged. anyway... i aint got the time today as well... gotta rush for Matilda's birthday party! so let me jus paste this poem form an e-mail. courtesy of Priya!

This poem was nominated poem of 2005 for the best poem, written by an African kid........

When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in Sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,
When I sick, I Black,
And when I die, I still black..

And you White fella
When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in Sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray..

And you call me Colored ..

well i leave it up to u. adioz

back hme... :( abt T,H,KKK

am back home. grrr

so had a ball of a time with amma n the kids. bledi cute those hunks. i love u boys really.
watched a couple of movies the past weeks.(yes my A's aren't over yet). lemme give u my views
1. Sillunu Oru Kaadhal
i swear i din wan to watch it ok.ya IT IS cos of the duo.i cant stand them(read Jyothika).n yes i WAS mad over surya. my first email add was suryajay36@hotmail.com . haha can u believe it?n so yes. i found the whole bringing back of Bhoomika pretty dumb. which wife wld do that? i cried the part bhoomika will hug my old flame (KEKEKE) n tell him she still loved him. damn. of cos she sacrificed so much else Jyothika will be married to sum ugly man like how her frens did.damn she shd haf.but i kinda liked the movie ( vani dun kill me. we are still the VV makkals)

2. Emten Magan
the title is so dumb. but anyway a pretty moving movie. but i hated the whole eloping part.cld haf done better. pretty typical tamil movie. Naser's acting was outstanding la realli.overall ok only.

3. Vettaiyaadu Villayaadu
cool. finally kamal with a gd film.i liked it in out. i disliked the whole marrying again though, personal reasons. songs rock like mad. n of cos the whole plot was cool reali. heck all that ' its so kakka kakka'. pls la. u din have a finger hanging in front of that jyothika's house or wat. rmbr vani, our plan tt if any guys cheat us, no u wun be seeing a finger. u know wat. so anyway the movie was cool n watch closely... kamal did an excellent job. cool

4. Varalaru aka Godfather
bloody hilarious. Indians need to be taught sum standard english or else me. the movie is based on the literal meaning, that is, a father who is like a GOD to them. the reasons for y the kaniga gal became mad is utterly stupid. n ajith moved ppl with his power 9 role. yeah he shaked his hips better than simran. whole film had ntg to do with the title valararu. dumb intro n role of Asin though. she deserves better. songs are superb. not bad

5. Vallavan
so its simbhu. bloody interesting plot i mus say. Better haf a part 2 else the vcd is gg down the rubbish chute of my flat. at the end we dunno if simbhu marries nayanthara, if riya goes back to haunt e hero n if the extra sandhiya reali likes him. so yeah ain't gonna tell u much abt the movie. go watch. gd for sum thrill n a diff storyline. excellent effort i mus say. songs are cool.

nothing was as interesting as spending times with kavin(4) karter(6) n keerthan(2). n yes i met hemani(2) n trinetra(4) too on thurs (all my nephews n nieces). all sooooooo cute. hemani was a sweetheart la. so small n meek. pretty n awwww. trinetra is diff. bubbly n playful. kavin the God of desturuction of toys n keerthan the stubborn king. Karter the child prodigy. i dun haf a favourite. they all are. lemme share with you an interesting conversation with karter.

ME: what is three plus five?
HE : its eight
ME: why?
HE: cos five plus three is eight wat!

right thanks

so after all that " after jayshree akka go back home, can i watch disney channel/beat keerthan"(kavin) n happy moments in the past five days... i am back to the solitude of my room.
well, jus another two more days.

adioz

Spastic

today's lit paper to the horrors of horrors........wasn't too bad

smth reali uncanny happened today. was on my way back in the train. i board the train at Buona Vista everyday n travel towards Boon Lay. Now if u guys know abt the Spastic School in singapore, they are situated smwhr in queestown/commonwealth. so these kids take the train even b4 i board it.
they are indeed special. either they look extremely normal or have down syndrome. but they all converse normally. next time u call sum1 mad, think abt these ppl. they reali are mentally ill, but they are independent n pretty smart actually.they usually make a lot of noise n are extremely attn-seeking. they scream n shout in the trains and carry large bags. the older ones even haf gf/bf. pretty cute. smtimes i wonder if such behavior cld lead to disasterous consequences. and they are extremely protective of each other.
one such 'girl gang' i met today. there was this domineering one who was scolding n beating the rest, n from two carriages away, they slowed made their way to the carriage i was sitting in. suddenly as the train was nearing toward JE, one of the gals was almost 'freezing'. perhaps cataleptic fits( that is having a kind of fits without any motion) and her arms were stretched out, n were held by two other gals on either side.everyone thought they were playing.they seemed so till she fell down on her back.all of them made a big din abt her, " are u okay? are u okay? OMG Sumone help us!" they were realli dramatic
at this point of time, i aint gonna brag n lie to u that i threw my sch bag one side n ran to her n carried her n gave her CPR. in fact no one did. all of us watched. sumhow i thought that this gal was jus faking it. actually she was, i think. she opened her eyes to take a peek. but she reali was motionless. i jus froze in my seat- this young lady got up n tried to carry her. she was plump n cun be carried. sum manjan B*stard told that young lady not to press n help button n jus 'move her out when the train stops. the lady almost shouted back " what if the door closes on her?" soon there were so many ppl crowding ard her n as much as i was compelled to go for ward to help, i feared to be an hindrance instead of helping the situation. at JE, they dragged her out of the train n i watched so bloody Fing uselessly as the train got away.
i know tat there were sufficient ppl there helping that kid but wat realli hits me hard is that i din help at all. jus look, freeze n stone.
i too haf a sister with down syndrome . if any damn thing happenes to her , n sum1 refuses to help(or rather freezez uselessly), i tell u i will jus die.

damn. i reali hope that gal was faking it all.

bored.lazy to study

so yes.ystdy was a day break. my daddy's bad day.
leave all of that.
i did all my LIT preparations, even b4 my prelims ended. and now i am darn lazy jus to read em all.
haha i am jus unbothered abt it all. someone knock sum sense into me pls.
am talking to amma right now. i miss you mummy.
i am so bored really.gimme sum ideas pls.
omg hemani is so cute!!

adioz

PMS haha

i am PMSing.
Dun be surprised if i

1. eat way too much.
2. walk away while i was talking to u.
3. tell u to F off while u were telling me a really funny joke. yes its not funny anymore.
4. tell u sorry and ask u to repeat the joke, n promise to laugh after that.
5. tell u F off again while u were at it again.
6. act as though u r not in front of me n bitch abt u till u tear.
7. tell u that i am gg to die tmr.
8. act as though a bug got into my tummy. its jus the fallopian tubes.
9. start crying while watching a comedy movie
10. fall off the stairs and blame it on you when u weren't even there.
11. bite u.
12. scratch u.
13. push u down the building and act as though i din hear u screaming.
14. blog that u suck.
15. tell u that i am hiding under the bed.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

*shree loves u.*

normal day. dream. memories n food

i am contemplating if i shd repeat my A's.regardless of whether i pass or not. my ambitions haf changed so much from the time i knew i had one. firstly, a lawyer. corporate lawyer. n for tt everyone i knew thought i will become one one day.n today, i haf successfully drifted away from that dream.yup its a dream after all.n i'll stop it jus here. but even b4 tt, i always wanted to join the SAF. its still a possibilty tho.if i work up my physique tt is.its in a horrid state now, but hey... if there is a will, there is way. n YOU STOP LAUGHING! n of cos the dream job wld be to serve the nation with my law degree.the legal side. n i will stop there again.i believe in miracles, do u? but i also believe tt i shun trust or lay my expectations on it too much, or even a bit.

i mus say that i am amazed at ppl who really haf high expectations of their A level results.actually they haf the right to be.cos they worked hard.but then and again,dun be unrealisitic la.u haf been getting F all ur life and u wan an A next march. i mean its not wrong and i dun mean to be Mean but hey.u jus make me feel funny.yeah tt is the word.

in response to my post ystdy, my buddy xian told me smth pretty sensible. while i was out there seeking unconditional love,she told me, "hey but jaysh, even God does not give u unconditional love wat?" yeah babe so true.though the equation does seem a bit faulty, it is somewat true. according to her, u muz do gd n do this n that to fully receive His love n i dunno wat more. u sort this out urself.

so today i had a feast. after reching sch at 12 plus, i ate a pack of beehoon with sausage,egg and luncheon meat. den IMMEDIATELY, i ate a chicken wing. a can of green tea(yummy) together with a small pack of potato chips also went in. and after tt, i ordered nasi goreng with a fried fish. and totally jus for that alone, i spent $7.40.yup i am glad deepavali gave me $$ to eat!

after tuition Vish sent me to the mrt station.this goes out to u n u alone. as much as u can be as tho ntg reali bad happened btw us both, i cant. and gd luck gal. i wanna see u walk thru the doors of NUS law fact.

i hate growing up.let me get back to the time where i memorised my storybooks n played with my amma's money purse, impersonating a cashier. i loved those innocent times running ard n my undies and hugging amma. and playing with u appa.

like how these memories can nvr come back to life...u cant too right?
on friday, 10th Nov 06, its my daddy's 3rd yr anniversary. ur soul will rest in peace daddy. and my nice buddies out there, pls pray for that too.

and now i am gg to eat.kekeke

the day u told me i owe u a living

yes i screwed my math. sumone pls recommend me some good courses in poly. i have an aggregate of 12 for L1R5 n 9 for L1R4.

and so trying to be studious at my level best in school din work. watching everyone jus made me feel like sum misfit in the world of sex and politics in the JC bitch world. and boy i'm glad i am.

and yes.in answer to the tears of the day.
coming back home from school in the car,i cun keep my tears welling up in my eyes.n also an oscar-award winning act of sleeping in the backseat.den my bro hops over n asks "so how was ur paper?". and to top it all off with another act of deception."yes it was fine", my reply came.

so u think its cos i screwed up my paper?hmph.i wish.its cos u said i owe u a living.
so since when did giving love talk abt receiving it all in the end? today morn when i was at the bus top, there was this ad on life after death, sum hospice promotion abt helping those who haf terminal illnesses. the first thought that came to my mind was to render my voluntary services after my A's. what more is needed then a part of ur hard earned income gg for a gd use n giving hugs n unconditional love to those who need it today n might not even wake up to receive it tmr. yes like u appa.like how u slept one night n din wake up to see the next.

so yeah i came to u all those times i needed u by my side n yes u stuck by me all the way. u din have to tell me that u know. so yeah i admit. i live such a baseless life that hey hey i know u know tt im living a bloody pathetic life with a load of futile hope. haha. i see u laughin out there. yes u made me realise one thing.tt u cant even trust ur own shadow. ultimately its each to its own.

come let me lie on the same lap that hurt me terribly n cry my heart out. after all its the same shameless me.

so wat more dear God haf u out there for me- my blessed dysfunctional family, my horror after 8 yrs of finding out tt my foster family were not my own, n yes the fading love, n best of all frens who wish to stay away. call this the ditching year.

why do u give when u expect it back? imagine if ur mum asked u to give u back the nine mths of pregnancy she endured to bring u life.imagine if the bed u've been peacfully sleeping on decides to sleep on u jus one nite? yes u were the mum who held on to me n gave me life n also the bed that i have peacefully slept on all these while. now there will be no greater pleasure than knowing tat i am an orphan n i'm choosing the floor over you.

i aint blogging to gain sum sympathetic response from ANYONE. i fucking dun need anything from u dammit.i cant get back wat i've lost n wat i am choosing to lose.but fret not. as much the macho exterior shree can tell u tat she wants to run away, the timid rodent within wun allow her to. so here, make use of me all u want. i'll give u anything, my love, my heart n my soul, together with a promise that i wun leave ur side, even when u haf turned ur table against me. all u will see left in me at the end of it all is still some love waiting to be shared again n the hope tat u will be back sumday to say, 'i regret leaving u'. it has happened n it will again. but this time round, i am prepared. so start ur game n roll the dice. who's first?

let me teach all of u out there sum thing.
un-con-di-tion-al[uhn-kuhn-dish-uh-nl]
-adjective
1.
not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.
[ from dictionary.reference.com]

the day u see the meaning of this in ur life, u'll understand what i truly mean.

clubbing in the toilet

i went clubbing ystdy. in the toliet.hehe yes i did. took a long shower for abt 40 mins.wanted to waste time n waste orur esteemed NEWater. i mean after all, i am jus supporting the authorities in promoting it lol.i was in a super singing mood n sang so many bloody songs. with the shower head raining over my head in delight.it loved me i tell u. azhagiya asura was the best. i bet i turned my neighbours on with my low n sexy voice and with all that sexy grooves, my my. i loved it, thats the only time i'm alone with no one watching me ( i hope) n being myself. having fun with nudity. i felt like a baby. trying not to insinuate anything. yeah i love water. all over me.moving down from head to toe esp feeling it down ur neck.it felt too good.inexplicable.all abt being a woman n feeling that feminity in you. woa. rocks me out of my seat onto urs.

the next time i sing that way, i'd record the SOUNDTRACK n post it. u'll know it then. now u know y i learn carnatic. wahaha.

So yeah. math paper tmr n yes i aint studying.i dun feel like.i wish to regret after this cos i'm so weak in pushing myself on.yeah i admit.i hate it.studying and u.haiz i hate math.actually not.i love to study. but things ard jus does not let me do so. c'mon try it. put urself in a room.confined to four walls.look at the books on ur table.stare hard.n yeaps ntg is gg inside. and there is no music(yes my mp3 got spoilt cos of over-use).no one to talk to.no one to say that they love u n wish ur presence tat very sec. and a mirror tat reflects ur face n no one else's.yup one day is possible. for ten mths?try it n tell me.after that, i swear i wun complain.

surprisingly this whole bloody hell life is coming to an end.supposedly.yes the damn F A's has tired me out n left me unbothered just after two bloody days. i hold no regrets after this if i screw it all. cos i've got plans to run away from just ALL OF U.yeaps. ALL of U. n dun come back saying " I know u wun leave me right? ". pls. dun make me say i will.

Ultimately, what i want is for u ppl to let me live life ON MY OWN. leave me alone.
i miss u daddy. come back n bring me back to u.

gg to amma's place!

yiiiiiiiipppeeee

yey tonight am gg to amma's place.wearing the purple sari.hmmm i like the blouse design.damn nice n haha sexy without much revealing.now tts wat u call hot indian beauty.in a sari. lolz

n so yea. talk abt retribution. whatever goes ard comes ard my dear. did u ever think u can do injustice n die happily? u saw it for urself. n u'll see more sweets.
this reminds me of a poem i once wrote.actually not too long ago.
un kadaisi vaay soru en kaaladiyil
are u are shocked? probably going, "oh my. wat a gal."?? u know wat? i dun give two hoots abt wat u think. or rather not anymore. i am happier this way. to form a whole new life again.without u. and how many of us get such a chance? its like re-birth for me. God gave it to me. n whether it turns out bad or good, i'll take it. cos i've learnt. not in the easiest of the easiest ways, but i haf.its seems so much easier to live alone nowadays. ITS BETTER.

n so yeah priya is coming over to my place to mug with me again. we'll haf our usual 'short' talks n end up falling in love with each other's company again. i rmbr the time she was young.complaining so much abt nithiya n me not talking to her n playing with her. damn cute.cry for everything.stubborn.notti. n FAT. now u see her, u'll drool.freaking pretty n so bloody slim. i love her hair. it beats maggi mee. my sis wat. so diff so changed. n best of it all, she's too nice to be true. n hella supportive. the sis God forgot to give me.everyone damn says we look like each other. we dun. but we're glad u say it.right priya? haha

so if u guys are still wondering, this is baby Priya(right) for u n the baby Shree(left) too.(cant leave me out u know.)



















and to how these chicks have emerged into beauties of rare existence....too bad if u dunno us.

talk abt humility.
adioz

tamil paper

i aint in a good mood. so dun try.

bloody tiring day today. seriously do u reali think doin two bloody three hr tamil lit papers is easy? my. but i muz say that the paper was not as hard as i expected it to be. n haha ramani came n gave me a choc. i wanted to fall on her feet to get blessings all but as usual she ran away. haha. so kambar jus cos this has ended, it does not mean i dun lau u anymore. theembaay marappeano kavichakkaravarthy kambar, jayshree irakkum pothenum ini? see i am as gd as u. (well i jus changed his poem to both our names). Its a long story.

so today while i was breaking btw my papers, i suddenly felt so bloody nausea. aiyo i tried to control it for abt an hr by bathing myself with my ever-handy axe oil. only added onto the oil secretions on my face.jus half hr b4 the second paper i went to the toilet n evry damn thing came out like sum volcanic eruption.so much for a jap lunch. bloody manja tholu. i am still feeling sick man.n yeah thiviya. i know i fall sick easily. n u are sick of it.haha. but ya know what, u always tell stuff at the wrong times. n that is wat u call a fren. :)

after my paper, i came out with purple nails. waddya expect when i sat right under the air con for three str8 hrs? n yes i know u saw me shivering the hell out of myself. n no the bloody jacket din help.

some bloody moronic kid in the lift called me a teletubby.basket.i know i have the talkin Tinky Winky(in my cupboard, safe n sound) but hey! wazzup with ur eyes man? already u guys only haf a slit. dun make me sew that up as well.

so yeah. this miss Shree is darn bloody known to break every other pedestrain traffic rule. but surprisingly the angel took the better of me today, n i waited till every damn car cleared.n yup i was giving sum pose leaning on the traffic light thingy, n hugging it. bet all those who saw it thought i was sum deprived kid. but hey too bad, else u wld haf seen me fall flat on my face on the road, or even haf a 14 wheeler run over my head, n walla! u get a hairy chapathi. ok.

and so for those of u who saw my nick on MSN that day abt politics, yup it just nvr ends. by frens, peers, family n yeah even the world u haven seen. its bugging me again.

i feel like puking now. in ur face.

in sch abt appa

back in sch.haiz. cun even rmbr my log-in details.am so detached all of a sudden. i haf a bloody big prob with myself realli.

i hated AC like shit.felt so out of place.fantastic teachers n mates ard me. now that i haf to leave it, i feel all sad. how true that u'll nvr appreciate smth when its right there b4 u. i muz say i've been the same with everyone else. after losing em all, i realise that i nvr reali appreciated them while they were ard. am sure u understand, dun u?

such one person i lost n can nvr redeem wld be u appa. after all u nvr gave me the chance to see u b4 u left, but left me here to deal with life all by myself. funny how i had bade a literal final goodbye to u. u bring tears to my eyes daddy. it stings real hard. after losing u, everyone knows i am no longer the confident gal with the aura of arrogance ard me. i had to hold it on to me, no longer oozing out of me naturally. so to u all out there, dun eva think ppl ard u stay foreva. trust me. i learnt it in a hard way n of cos, there is no turning back. i still rmbr ur face on that white cloth, with that green sari over. and the clothes that were put in ur coffin, all except the one i bought for u, which happened to be right beneath the last folded shirt in the stack they took for u. Cruel. pain. appa u r making me cry in school. u r the ONLY thing i wan to rmbr in my life. the only pain i will gladly endure.my pillar of strength shattered. r u seeing me from there?u better. n i will join u soon. then we'll look down from above together. as dad n daughter, forever.

so pappa u see, i cant realli study these days. i kinda lost it. been thinking of repeating A'levels also. haha my teacher said it was a dire option.haha Mrs. Creffield. my pretty woman. n ya dun reali seem to be concentrating. haiz i dunno. have loadsa plans for dec onwards. hope i dun back out like a coward again reali. u watch me from there k. maybe i'll make u proud. i dunno. maybe not.

who will forget the times u forced us all to eat? n everytime i go hungry, I SWEAR to all the gods out there, i only rmbr u, n ur giving hands, that nvr made me hungry n now i'm so deprived of ur love. i am so angry with u realli.

one of the best things abt being ard now is definitely Karter, Kavin, Keertan. appa we all believe keertan is a reincarnation of u. he looks a bit malay, perspires ever so quickly jus like u. and once, he took a small piece of tissue n started wiping the table, jus like u always do. amma started crying after she saw tt. but ya we all believe he is. me too. u will come back right?

appa i want to follow u.maybe a singing career down the road.devotional songs n maybe teach younger kids. i rmbr the last song u sang to me b4 u left me. kavithaiye theriyuma. i din tell u then appa.i'll tell u now. it was lovely. whenever i hear it now, i only hear ur voice singing it. u still live with me, dun u?

i dunno wat more to say.waking up another day is waking to another 24 hrs of u not with us anymore. this post is dedicated to u, n of cos it goes, vanishing, jus like the numerous thinge we offer u during prayers. the sotong sambal we once shared no longer touches my taste buds, n i now rmbr... jus two days b4 u left me , i held ur hands with the computer mouse to help u click.
i'm not longer shy to cry in school anymore.wherever, whenever, i cant run away from ur memories. U r living appa. sumwhere out there...n till the day i reach u, these tears will never dry.

anaithu kondaaye... pinbu yeno sendraai...

was coming back from tuition today.saw this punjabi gal i met yrs back. she once jus talked to me suddenly when i was much younger. hmm these past few days ppl jus keep coming in. n going out of my life.

i saw the word NUS in the papers today and on an AD on the bus.it gave me a wierd feeling.din like it.the look of it.the feel of it.scares me.think i'll even make it? but talk abt the trepidation deep down within.dunno how i am gonna fit in.or maybe will just fit into all that facade.ugly is the word.

trust.i hate that word.who do u trust?its so painful to trust sumone.anil once said trust no one.not even ur loved ones. hmmm.talk abt obsession n deception.these words kinda conquer my life.obsession is my second side.deception,it fills my life. from this way in and that way out.shan comment further.

fuck i dun feel like blogging anymore. adioz

school day... the last?

tired.it seriously says less than how i am feelin right now.well i had an interesting day today. i muz share this really.

so yup met two of my old buddies.Vish n Thiv.My two lifelines while in Cedar.u guys brought back so much.the whole nostalgic feeling hits me hard again.Gosh whoever told u the leaving part was easy.Both equally made me realise one thing.i am still alive.kekeke

hey i went for tuition today.that annoying lady made me sleep again.ntg unusual?not when its one-to-one tuition.so yeah there were two other kiddos there.one was this huge PINK incredible hulk(he's northy) n another a dark skinny one who gave the look 'hey i am from AST ok'. the pinky was reeking of a super strong cologne but kept wiping his pespiration from his forehead.the other suddenly spoke up in a soft meek voice,"mdm, i dunno how to do kaardinate jaametry ( read coordinate geometry) ".well so much for my right side. n so my life took a turn for the worst. i turned the left side. well of cos there was my teacher n this manchachi who kept screwing her nose at me each time i asked my teacher to explain smth to me. i always believe in telling the truth. i wanted to whack the calculator at her face.( well tts ok cos sumone once said he wanted to push me off into the MRT track.hmmm) den suddenly there was a loud shrill. "u dunno how to do the EXXeleration ah? ivan ippadi koduthaana, nee atha ippadi yezhuthuno". well yeah thats my math tutor for u. dun blame me rite?go back to yindiya la

well today i've good news too.i nominated mrs.ramani (or rather i was forced to) for Tamil Murasu's Most Inspiring Tamil Teachers Award.n yeah we won smth. so yeah so all those ex-ACSians, i give u one minute to puke n return.

today was the last day of school for the yr1s. missing it for the wrong reasons.or maybe right.kekeke.yeah vani gal i'll miss u. n mr.lancelot lim, the pic i took with u din turn out right(bet it was cos of the gals' stares n jealous curses).the food of cos.ntg beats AC in that. haha n of cos the fun at the void deck.

well yeah i am tired. gimme a break dear dreams n naggy thoughts. i haf smth called A's.

thudikira ithayathin oosaigal neeye...

kambar

hey hey.at home again.jus so obstinately refused to wake up in the morn.well lets see.next thurs is GP paper n next fri is TLA paper.hmmm...jus how prepared am i?got no idea.but reading kavichakkaravarthy(my tamil lit book) has made me fallen in love with tamil again.any kinda love makes one distracted.we all know tt.so let me propose my love to my kavi pulavar Kambar again.u simply rawk man.haiz he aint alive to see this cute thing go goo goo gaga over his work.
well yeah. so this story of Ambigapathy n Amaravathy is fictional.bet u guys din know abt that.kinda kewl.they both die for falling in love. kaathalukkaaga irappathu endraal, antha irappae kaadhalarkku pokisham.ntg more to say.enuf abt this love thingy.makes me sound so immature n forlorn.
i have this wierd sense of excitement in me. dunno if its the festive season or the upcoming examinations. but definitely its totally uncomfy.i'll jus wait n try get this off asap.till den its back to my books n dreams. ciaoz

i called it deepavali.

haiz.looks like i found a reason to blog finally.ntg too fantastic. jus the screams of the devil called the heart.
looking back on deepavali i had a ball of a time.seeing all those long lost frens n all. feels as tho i went into the Bermuda triangle on the fateful day, 23 Jan 06, and mysteriously figured my way back home. so yeah seeing all of u made my day. or so i thought.
frankly, dear blog, i'm so afraid to go back into the unshielding world where frens n ppl i know who arent worthy of the label FRIEND are a pain n an addition to the planet of problems.this whole year i went MIA cos i was forced to. n looks like God did reali have his plans aside for me. i am sure i now know who did stand by my side.
as much as i always wanted it, as the a'levels are coming, i so wish this whole hiding business is not gonna end.actually come to think of it. i wasn't hiding.i was living a life of independence, jus that it was pathetic n painful.talk abt the four walls being ur best buddies. each had a story to tell, n me, to them.so lets jus say i have emerged stronger, or so i think.
looks like this internal battle has got no end.now to some real stuff.
Diwali i met some nice ppl n not so nice ones...u make me miss my good ol' times...
1. JJ! thank u so much for lightening up my mood by making me sing... haha finally!!
2. Aarthi gal... u brought back so much of memories
3. kavin karter keertan! the three musketeers...sunshine of my life... where is happiness without u three...
4. my dear mr navin kumar. u finally remembered me.yes yes. more than words can say. i missed u crazy bro.
5. amma was the surprise of the day. after years n years she finally saw my room. haiz wish appa was ard to see me now
6. ooh my mummy n daddy din fite on Diwali. my father n his usual screaming obsession.looks like i inherited that from him. haha. but yeah babu brought it up after he was high. talk abt being emo.
7. all my uncles n aunties. so funny u guys make me feel younger as all of u grow older. wahahaha
8. and oh yeah the sour cream of the day. Mr. John F Kennedy. try harder next time.sore loser. lets jus see how u'll face me again.

i'm sorry to all of u guys whom i din wish on Diwali. obviously u all know.
my dear ram fam. i miss u guys. though i no longer feel a part of u sometimes... moments with ya'll i'll always cherish.

to the love of my life. God bless whereva u are.

vani gal n me

hey vani is with me right here...haha we both got loadsa plans later ya...hahaha awrite am lazy to type further...bye!

hey

hey