looks like im officially single. i cried but these were tears of my love and not his. i shall not bore myself any further of wat i will miss and what i have lost.
looking back the past 5 months, i have grown emotionless, grown to take life as it gives me and let people go. i feel less love in my heart and feel less for doing anything for sumone else.
today as i spoke to myself, i realised my weakness. i keep thinking that everyone who walks into my life is special. how stupid of me. all that wastage of energy. and emotions.
i rmbr thiv said that i should stop taking onions and garlic and i have been a faithful follower. and this is the result. less emotions. stark realisation. that hits me in my face. slaps my fat cheeks so hard that i bleed.
look back jayshree. look at the ppl i have been in contact with all of a sudden. who are they? what are they doing to me? where will they be in a year's time?
look at my family. that part of me is over, u know. I know!
look at my job. totally satisfying yet a gazillion issues to deal with everyday.
look at my account balance. pfft.
today at dance class. my teacher's words taught me smth. that no matter how much i had achieved, i stand small before him. i stand shy. and unconvinced of my own power. he pushes and pushes me, silently telling me he believes in me. such an inspiration u are, teacher.
thank u.
i wanna take a deep breathe . clean and good. start my life anew in every way possible. god, i haven been quite faithful i know, but pls help, if u dun mind.
jayshree, let me love you.
shree