yes i screwed my math. sumone pls recommend me some good courses in poly. i have an aggregate of 12 for L1R5 n 9 for L1R4.
and so trying to be studious at my level best in school din work. watching everyone jus made me feel like sum misfit in the world of sex and politics in the JC bitch world. and boy i'm glad i am.
and yes.in answer to the tears of the day.
coming back home from school in the car,i cun keep my tears welling up in my eyes.n also an oscar-award winning act of sleeping in the backseat.den my bro hops over n asks "so how was ur paper?". and to top it all off with another act of deception."yes it was fine", my reply came.
so u think its cos i screwed up my paper?hmph.i wish.its cos u said i owe u a living.
so since when did giving love talk abt receiving it all in the end? today morn when i was at the bus top, there was this ad on life after death, sum hospice promotion abt helping those who haf terminal illnesses. the first thought that came to my mind was to render my voluntary services after my A's. what more is needed then a part of ur hard earned income gg for a gd use n giving hugs n unconditional love to those who need it today n might not even wake up to receive it tmr. yes like u appa.like how u slept one night n din wake up to see the next.
so yeah i came to u all those times i needed u by my side n yes u stuck by me all the way. u din have to tell me that u know. so yeah i admit. i live such a baseless life that hey hey i know u know tt im living a bloody pathetic life with a load of futile hope. haha. i see u laughin out there. yes u made me realise one thing.tt u cant even trust ur own shadow. ultimately its each to its own.
come let me lie on the same lap that hurt me terribly n cry my heart out. after all its the same shameless me.
so wat more dear God haf u out there for me- my blessed dysfunctional family, my horror after 8 yrs of finding out tt my foster family were not my own, n yes the fading love, n best of all frens who wish to stay away. call this the ditching year.
why do u give when u expect it back? imagine if ur mum asked u to give u back the nine mths of pregnancy she endured to bring u life.imagine if the bed u've been peacfully sleeping on decides to sleep on u jus one nite? yes u were the mum who held on to me n gave me life n also the bed that i have peacefully slept on all these while. now there will be no greater pleasure than knowing tat i am an orphan n i'm choosing the floor over you.
i aint blogging to gain sum sympathetic response from ANYONE. i fucking dun need anything from u dammit.i cant get back wat i've lost n wat i am choosing to lose.but fret not. as much the macho exterior shree can tell u tat she wants to run away, the timid rodent within wun allow her to. so here, make use of me all u want. i'll give u anything, my love, my heart n my soul, together with a promise that i wun leave ur side, even when u haf turned ur table against me. all u will see left in me at the end of it all is still some love waiting to be shared again n the hope tat u will be back sumday to say, 'i regret leaving u'. it has happened n it will again. but this time round, i am prepared. so start ur game n roll the dice. who's first?
let me teach all of u out there sum thing.
un-con-di-tion-al[uhn-kuhn-dish-uh-nl]
-adjective
1.
not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.
[ from dictionary.reference.com]
the day u see the meaning of this in ur life, u'll understand what i truly mean.