i am feeling so fucked up. i know its just the fucking sugar rush. the shark and the redbull did it.i cant stand it sumtimes. i hate this whole feeling.
that one wierd feeling in me and the trepidation is too much to hold. and the reoccuring thought is annoying.
u know what, i need a break. i cant wait for exams to end. i need to sit down, stare at the wall and be with myself. i miss myself so much. running ard, exams and all tt tuition and life with ntg for myself is annoying. fucking irritating.
and all that dough game, i wonder when tt stops.
i wanna slp, sugar is making me mentally tired i think. i wanna eat, the weighing scale scares me. i wanna have fun, the hole in my pocket is becoming bigger.
bitch. life is such a bitch. i feel like lamenting and lamenting. and i am not pmsing. its just the fucking sugar rush. and next tuesday, i gotta undergo the same shit. just cos of that stupid morning paper. u guys ok or not? who wants to start writing at 9am?? not me. thats almost the
time i am super deep in my slp.
watching the ny videos is bringing up loadsa memories. and like i said, the best thing that eva happened to me there is hariharan. i loved the freedom, unlike AC. the sch and the chinese ambience was wat i loved abt it the most. but i mean who is out there to dictate my life and tell me what i enjoyed and loved? the one reading this for KPO sake? or the ones who self proclaim the rights over my memories?
i am liking mafia wars. after so long, i actually like a game. and i cant access it now. how irritating is that? i mean u like smth and u dun get to play it and when i play it feel less stressed. i mean when i study gender, it tells me that men are such competitive ppl that they see everything as a game/competition. so why cant women see things this way? when we start challenging life, we are seen as stronger (cos we are) and then get stigmatized as a rebel? who the fuck gave u such wrong sociological opinions?
the mental life is affected u know, those who keep wanting all for themselves. from false pride to all that know-it-all attitude, i mean c'mon la. grow up. its over. and that pretty yet annoying lecturer who wrote me crap, i still like ur punctuality thingy.
Such random writing. incoherence. just like the thoughts in my damn head. a little nice word would do me some good. and less thinking. and no seeing. and mafia wars. and no more shark and redbull.
individuality works for me, trust me. as long as i keep running the day with work, sch, tuition and walk walk walk talk, i am sane. and thats the onli way to find out. on the contrary.
adioz