yes i am still here.
i aint dead. although my feelings are going to be soon.
i am all confused. not cos of myself, of course.
i am clear of being all unclear.
Have you wondered if a person is sleeping or is dead?
Have you ever thought of what wld it be like to have wings and fly?
Bizzare thoughts fill my head. Here i am wondering and wondering.
FEAR.
i fear fear.
it overwhelms me.
i fear of failing.
losing
being happy lest it shall not last
being sad lest it lasts
its scary. to look at life positively.
and when i sleep, i dream.
dream of everyday things.
everyday things that scare me.
i no longer fear myself only.
i fear you, you and you. and you too.
but its funny how i dun run away this time round.
i wanna be there.
feel the pain and fear
the fear of losing life even sometimes.
i bet its worst out there. somewhere. i think.
a naalum oru kural once said : God will not give u what u want, but he will give you what u deserve.
u think so??
maybe.
lets just see. if your journey through ur own mind will make me the victim, hmmm.
although it does not pay to be selfless all the time, i still learn something outta it. to be not what i dun want you to be.
one doubt though.
how long will life be lasting for humans to continually think they will repent soon, again and again?
fed up.
adioz.