Perhaps i do not exactly have the outlet to my hidden emotions and feelings. in this case i muz admit tat i am not true to myself even. it is hard to eventually force myself into thinking that i am clear and emotionally/psychologically stable.
i have built up so much of anger and pain inside me that it only comes out thru silent tears, especially when i am alone.WHO in this world would want burden upon themselves? then, why is it I bring upon so much of pain onto myself?
I do need a break, i know. But as much as i thought i was giving myself one, I realised that i have stagnated myself and ended up giving myself a heart full of thorns to carry.
I cant seem to move on. With the losing divine faith and inability to focus, i once again bring myself to the slum, where sorrows and degradation befriend me.
Handlin so much of workload is my coping mechanism. As much as my friends have pestered me to meet them up, i have equally been stubborn to refuse them and let myself stay cooped up.
I have been living a facade.
I surrender.