hmmm.
life is changing, or so i think it is.
from the silent agreement within my heart to stop defining emotions to whatever the eye meets... things have indefinitely changed.
i have missed school for three days.all cos i cun wake up. actually today i really wanted to go. but i cun. hell.
ystdy's LFC match totally upsets me. they lost. Yeah they did.
but my heart goes out to u. we've got 5 titles to be contented with. we'll give in this time la. anyway Milan's 2nd goal was sheer luck. so F the world and hail the REDS.
so with all that madness at Athens, my alarm refused to activate in the morn. or so i tell myself
kekeke
to totally busted LFC at this time, i bought total 2 goals at sing pools. now the whole idea is LFC lost, and it cld have just remained that way with Milan's 2-0. but the bloody 88th min goal only means i lost my money and my team lost. crap. wat a bitch of a fan.
after 3yrs on tuesday, i made my way to Changi Airport. the bloody same place appa whr i last saw u. and the hug that nvr came and the kiss i nvr gave. it annoys me totally how i actually forgot whr i was heading to till i reached there, and how i have been successfully avoiding my trips there even to send off my closest of my closest friends but i have now agreed to work there for 5 days.
hell.
i know i aint over this. maybe Daddy u miss me. tts y u wanted me there, is it? ur smell still lingers around... no i haven forgotten u... u din have to torture me this way... but since u want it... its daughter submitting to ur heavenly request...
i soo miss u appa. come quickly. ur kutty is still waiting.
i think i have unfortunately put myself into another unappreciative environment. it sucks totally. no it aint gonna take a pair of iPod ear piece to hold me back. Shree now declares a fullstop. whole-heartedly. i think.
speaking of defining emotions, i guess it does not work tt way anymore. i think.
Valvinpal Kaur. u fight n fight n fight and still make me smile. this is one love-hate feeling. but i love u really my dear baby sis. time will tell it all.
To Mr.Sengoyan. its wierd how u see a xerox copy of urself in sumone u just cant stop cursing and swearing at. then and again, while i'm at this, i am totally respectful of the way u are and think.
Amma. i am so sorry i nearly fought with u. i know i am living for u and u only. its not like i wanna hold on to this life. trust me if it isnt for the loss of appa that u had gone thru, u wld haf probably gone thru it for me. hell i wish i cld openly tell u amma. but ya. i'll just wait till u see it urself.
i imagine. the floor opening up and swallowing me. and as much as i wanna be gg into it, i hold back. and fight for feelings not reciprocated and for ppl who stay no way by my side. with the blessing or curse, i dunno, of my stoned heart finally bleeding away into ounces of cold blood... i wonder again if being a stone is still all the more worth it. and less painful for that matter.
i hate this state of ambiguity. i despise it.
i need to go to the temple. i know i need to.
uuuuurgh.
but for now.
i will just do this.
F the world and hail the REDS.
adioz.