29-08-07
i am feeling damn fucked up.
no its not only cos i am tired, i just hate this situation right now.
scenario:
suppose u work on a farm.
the supervisor in charge of u knows tt ya hardworking and a super- efficient farmer.
den he goes away for sum reason, leaving u to manage his work.
the damn farm owner comes,preferring u to the previous worker. the previous worker swindled money n left the job.
somehow the owners r being a pain n u cant do anyth to leave ur job cos u love it too much n u just wish ur supevisor returns.
i am really upset.
well anyway, following a literal death threat ystdy nite, i suddenly think abt death and life-after.
i read The five ppl u meet in heaven. excellent book. it sets u thinking and appreciating and observing events all ard u. i wonder who i will meet, to make sense of all the crap ard me. but i bet i will meet appa.
today morn sch was so exhausting.
i know tt i m needing my vitamins n the lack of it all is making me feel so lousy.
with many agendas to meet today, the lack of sleep is just pushing me back as well but at the same time, the disturbed mind rather be busy den to sleep in.
reasons are if i idle n tell myself to sleep, i mite wake up feeling fucked up as eva. so what is the whole bloody pt of it all?
i am so pessimistic i know.
i need to go for tuitions, whole lot of tutorials to be done, gotta meet this charity organisation lady, paatu class, threading to be done, two mths of hp bill to be settled, tuition kids and their unpaid tuition fees...
just call me will u. to know ya still ard although u r not will help. i think.
adioz.
thanimai thanimaiyo... kodumai kodumaiyo...
30-08-07
so yeah i was not feeling pessimistic for ntg.
i was right after all abt all those mixed feelings. a call was all it had to take to confirm ill luck.
i feel realli sad for sumone else who is the direct party to the dire situation over here. just tt life sux big time.
a new shree is born.
let me just tell u tt.i aint gonna feel like sum weakling, like how i was ysdty.
gimme two more mths. den i will settle in completely into this new persona.
trust me. cos u made my life so miserable, i hate u.
i fucking hate you.
adios.