well. ystdy i burned midmorning oil to finish up my lit essays. that two outta four done. rest due on monday. gawd. nobody help me pls.
with three hrs of backrest ystdy nite, i am now awaiting my polit sci crash course to start. and i think my day in sch ends at ten.
i dunno whr life takes me to. but hell i do know that i refuse to be in a dilemmial state. my eyes are burning away and such fatigue is a contradiction to all that oversleeping these past 3 weeks. time i snap of my supposed depression yes.
and my mum just does not seem to understand. she asked me if i was celebrating deepavali cos of the supposed blase attitude i have been giving at home. well i refuse to clean up my room. no its cleaned out, yes i painted it green. but i refuse to tidy it. and i dun do the rest of the work at home. even better, i haven bought any new clothes for diwali and have been refusing every offer.
i aint got the mood. not for festive season. not to live life that way anymore. why muz i make myself feel happy that one day?
not without u.
and so. i plan to work hard. since i am almost deciding to stay put in NUS. i will be doin wateva i had planned in SMU. and yes. let me just pray it goes well.
this yr's much awaited india trip looks like a mirage to me now. i duno whether u guys know how badly i wanted to go for it, but hell. at the current stage, i am in no deciding state.
as the days draw closer to my sem exams, i just wanna let myself know. my thoughts make up my actions and i can control my thoughts. even if its just transient stoicness, i am in for it.
*yey! subway sandwich is coming my way later for my dinner. now for the mind-boggling two hrs of public policy and comparative politics.
i am starting to feel good again. i know i aint as strong. but i wld like to think so. let me be.
no matter whr life takes me to, a part of me will always be with u. - S Club 7.
adioz.