disturbed.
i dun quite get it. first everything looks very positive. and it is encouraged. and den suddenly all the hype gets lost. and everyone starts discouraging you.
its enuff. seriously its enuff. i have had it enuff. i am angry. not so angry but yes i am. its a bitter feeling.
i hate how whatever i say gets ignored. smtimes those times seem a lot better. altho it was lonely, it was better. in my cocoon, i was myself. and i din have much to do i think. lesser contact with the outside world. it was me to myself and no one else. i regret. stepping out tis yr.
i wanna go. i wanna go where i wanna go. peace. peace. its peace i seek. and whatever i seek is what i have always wanted.
yes i am stubborn. i have always been. but i do try to reason out. i believe in trying. even if i fails, i am glad i tried. and that failure is another step to success. else how do i experience life? even if it means to lose a limb, let me do it. let me try. its all already written up there. who are u to change it all? or fear that i will fall? why? let me pls.
i jus suddenly realised that the transition from one reserved and sheltered soul to an open and 'a-bit-more-aware' soul has made me feel so uncomfortable. so bloody F uncomfortable.
perturbed.
leave me alone pls.
to YOU. thr is smth in me u have not quite seen. and its so sad hw u dun get a chance to. but time ago, i made a promise to myself. right in front of the mirror, str8 into my eyes. and tt promise to myself, and to u as well for the matter-of-fact, stays. and when i mean it stays, dun even try to slaughter me to break it. u'll fail. and fall. u'll fall at the feet of the strength of my promise.
இச்சகத்துளோர் எல்லாம் எதிர்த்து நின்ற போதிலும்
அச்சமில்லை அச்சமில்லை அச்சமென்பதில்லையே
adioz.