:: look into your heart ::

:: hear it speak ::

:: listen ::


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

over-reactin

maybe i am just overreacting.
i am having a splitting headache. no its not a hangover.altho i wish it was.hahaha.
well den and again, i feel i am wasting my time over smth i deem extremely special to me but hell the feeling isn't reciprocrated. it hurts, over and over again and my life seems completely out of control. i wish i cld just leave my house straightaway and knock at the door of happiness. and stay put. if only there was such an avenue for mankind, then there wld be no need for hell or even sins. just glee and more love and affection shared.
smtimes i can get really carried away by my emotions i muz admit. somehow i can't grab hold of it. seeing myself to pull each day seems to ache the hell outta me. why? i have always put on a facade to be such a strong person, but deep down within me there is a devil waiting to scream. scream out and cry to u. and to u only.
with three assignments due in a week, i am seriously putting myself in deep shit. i dunno wat i wan out of my life actually.
let me see. sumone actually told me that its all normal to feel this way when ya reaching ya 20s. hell growing up is such a painful process. and i have chosen to sit down and brood over it so much.
i miss my shell. that room of mine b4 it was open to the rest of the world to see or even enter. those times when no one knew who Shree was. that whole mystery and secrecy. and now i feel like an open book. all violated and stepped upon. its painful and excrutiating. it harms me - the delicate threads of my heart are gnawed at... slowly everything gets loosened. the blood drips profusely and i lose my consciousness gradually... only wishing to seek refuge in ur arms all over again.

appa r u watching all of these? friday its ur prayers. fourth yr. are u even there? why dun i feel u anymore? u seem so distant more than ever b4. dun let me go. not u pls.

adioz